


Hard to chase but good to catch

by schneestern



Category: Bandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-30
Updated: 2009-06-30
Packaged: 2018-06-02 21:38:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6583519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schneestern/pseuds/schneestern
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Warning for an animal tail attached to Jepha's ass? Look, just proceed with caution!<br/>Title stolen from an Adele song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hard to chase but good to catch

"Can I touch it?" Bert asks, already reaching out.

"No one touches my tail," Jephas says irritably and takes a few steps away from everyone, black, furry tail swishing between his legs.

"That's what she said," Quinn crows triumphantly from the floor and then goes back to laughing hysterically. "This is the best hangover day _ever_ ," he adds and burps.

"It's not a hangover if you're still drunk," Dan says and hands Quinn a water bottle.

Quinn gives him a dark look. "Beer," he says commandingly and spits in Dan's general direction to emphasize his point. The spit lands somewhere on the carpet and Dan raises an eyebrow at Quinn, all _Is this the best you have?_

Then he goes to the fridge and gets Quinn a beer.

"So if we don't get to touch it, can I lick it?" Bert edges closer to Jepha's side, never taking his eyes off the tail that curves out of a hole at the back of Jepha's pants.

Jepha makes a sad, despairing noise. "Does no one understand how much it sucks to have a _tail_ coming out of your ass?"

"It's not technically your ass," Bert says and quickly makes a grab for Jepha's tail, clutching it in his fists like a child. He sticks the tip of the tail in his mouth and sucks.

For a moment there's complete silence, not even Quinn is saying anything. Jepha's eyes are wide open staring at the point where his new tail disappears into Bert's mouth. Quinn looks torn between laughing and throwing up. And Dan looks as inscrutable as ever.

And then Bert bites Jepha's tail. One moment his teeth are sinking into furry flesh, the next he's flying through the air towards the other end of the bus.

"Whoa," Quinn says, scrambling up from the floor to look if Bert's still alive.

"Shit, I didn't know how strong--" Jepha starts and then turns around and sneaks out of the bus before there's retaliation. From behind him there's loud cursing and then Bert yells, "I have fur in my mouth!" and Quinn laughing, loud and obnoxious. "Serves you right, motherfucker."

Dan follows Jepha outside to avoid the obvious Bert and Quinn funtime that follows after any incident that involves Bert getting hurt.

\--

Outside, Jepha's leaning against the side of the bus, scuffing his toe into the dirt. His tail is wrapped around his boots, tip of it twitching slightly.

It's an odd sight but Dan's touring with The Used, so it's definitely not the oddest thing that has ever happened around him.

When he walks closer, Jepha looks up and waits for Dan to stand in front of him before he says, "Go away," and kicks the dirt extra hard so some of it lands on Dan's jeans.

Dan smiles. "I'm pretty sure you want me to stay," he says.

Jepha gives him a dark look. "No, I don't."

"Your tail is wrapped around my foot."

Dan watches Jepha look down to where his tail is coiled tightly around Dan's ankle.

"Dammit," Jepha says and frowns hard but his tail only winds tighter around Dan.

Jepha makes a frustrated noise.

"Hey." Dan reaches out and puts his hand on the side of Jepha's neck, stroking his thumb over the tattoo on his throat. Jepha looks up at him and there's a faint smile on his lips, finally.

Dan leans in and kisses Jepha, just a warm press of lips until Jepha opens up, tongue sliding against Dan's. It's a wet, slow kiss, comfortable in a way.

"This is weird," Jepha eventually mumbles against Dan's lips.

"No, it's not." Dan tugs at Jepha's bottom lip with his teeth, just a little too hard.

"But I have a _tail_ ," Jepha says petulantly.

Dan laughs and reaches between them, palms Jepha's dick through his pants. "So what? I have a dick."

"But that's not the same!"

"Is too," Dan says and works Jepha's pants open.

"Is not," Jepha says but his voice sounds a bit breathless.

"Just don't assfuck me with that thing," Dan says good-naturedly, spits into his hand and shoves it down the front of Jepha's pants, curling it around his dick. Jepha makes an indignant sound and Dan snorts. He slides his hand over Jepha's dick, squeezing tightly.

"I'll try. But it's kind of doing its own thing," Jepha says and shrugs apologetically.

"I think it's doing _me_ , right now," Dan says and when Jepha looks down again his tail has wandered up, sliding around Dan's upper leg.

"Uh," Jepha says and his hips jerk against Dan's hand. Dan speeds up his movements, spreading the precome at the tip of Jepha's dick around with his thumb.

"You think you could jerk yourself off with it?" he asks, honestly curious. Jepha gives him a look but he seems to think about it, tongue darting out over his lips, cheeks a little red.

"Wouldn't that be, like, bestiality?" Jepha gets out before he comes, sticky-wet over Dan's hand.

"Nah, not if you do it to yourself." Dan strokes him through it until Jepha twitches away from his touch. Dan pulls his hand out, gives Jepha's crotch a friendly pat.

Jepha's propped against the side of the bus, blissed out look on his face. "Do you want me to--" he waves his hand between them, apparently too lazy to phrase out the whole question.

Before Dan can say anything the bus door opens and Bert and Quinn tumble out.

"I told you, dickwad, donkeys don't have long tails."

"Your mom," Quinn says and they turn to Dan and Jepha, still standing closely together.

Quinn wrinkles his nose. "Ew, get a room."

Jepha flips him off and Dan adds a heartfelt, "Fuck off, asshole." Quinn gives them a toothy grin, mouth spit-slick and shiny red. His hair's tousled too.

"Totally not a donkey's tail," Bert says, crouching next to Jepha's leg, completely oblivious to what's going on around him. He's touching it where it curves up and around Dan's leg. "It looks more like a big cat or something."

"Panther," Jepha supplies and Bert's eyes light up. "Yes," he says, gleefully stroking the fur like he would a cat.

Jepha looks at Dan and shrugs. Dan smiles back at him and wipes his come-stained hand on the back of Bert's shirt.

"We should totally go to the zoo and compare," Bert says and his hands wander from Jepha's tail to Dan's dick, poking at it. Jepha's tail twitches and then swats Bert's hand out of the way.

Bert looks up at Jeph and says, "Animal instincts," and breaks out into his high-pitched giggles.

"How bout you touch _my_ dick instead," Quinn says irritably and Bert gets up and hurls himself at Quinn.

"Are you feeling all lonely and _sad_ , Quinny?" Bert grabs for Quinn's dick, giving him a wet smacking kiss on the mouth.

As Jepha watches them grabbing for each other's dicks, Dan reaches for Jepha's tail and gently untangles it from his leg. He holds it for a while longer before letting it gently slide to the ground.


End file.
